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Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
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10:50 am
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Gen 6-10 (NIV)
Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death.
Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.
This was to fulfill the commandment given in Deu 25:5-6 (NIV)
If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband's brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.
current mood:  awake
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 9th, 2006
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11:36 pm
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You ask me if I like dancing? I like being close to you....holding your hand...that's all.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
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7:55 am - A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes?
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And what does mine wish for?
I thought I knew, and this morning I discovered so. Let go.
Let go.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006
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11:15 pm - I'd Rather
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I thought some time alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone
and I tried to find out
if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
And then I met someone
thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies
so I'm here 'cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with you,
than good times with someone else,
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
than safe and warm by myself,
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
The one who holds my heart
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 17th, 2006
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3:18 am - "The Man Who Didn't Believe in Love"
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"There was once a man who didn't believe in love. This was an ordinary man just like you and me, but what made this man special was his way of thinking: He thought love doesn't exist. Of course, he had a lot of experience trying to find love, and he observed the people around him. Much of his life had been spent searching for love, only to find that love didn't exist.
Wherever this man went, he would tell people of his thoughts and opinions on love. This man was highly intelligent, and he was very convincing. What he said was the love is just like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don't receive your daily doses of love? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses.
He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn't love as much. You can see the way they manipulate each other, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict.
The drug addict, the one who has the biggest need, lives in constant fear that perhaps he will not be able to get the next dosage of love, or the drug. The drug addict thinks, "What am I going to do if she leaves me?" That fear makes the drug addict very possessive. "That's mine!" The addict becomes jealous and demanding, because the fear of not having the next dosage. The provider can control and manipulate the one who needs the drug by giving more doses, fewer doses, or no doses at all. The one who has the biggest need completely surrenders and will whatever he can to avoid being abandoned.
The man went on explain to everyone why love doesn't exist, and how what humans call 'love' is nothing but a fear relationship based on control. So many promises are made to each other: to live together forever, to love and respect each other, through the good times and the bad times but after marriage, you can see that none of these promises are kept.
What you find is a war of control to see who will manipulate whom. Who will be the provider? And who will have the addiction. You find that a few months later, the respect that they swear to have for each other is gone. You can see the resentment, the emotional poison, how they hurt each other, little by little, and it grows and grows, until they don't know when the love stops. They stay together because they are afraid to be alone, afraid of the opinions and judgments of others, and also afraid of their judgments and opinions. But where is the love?
The man went on and on about all the reasons why he believed love doesn't exist.
The one day this man was walking in a park, and there on a bench was a beautiful lady who was crying. When he saw her crying, felt curiosity. Sitting beside her, he asked if he could help her. He asked why she was crying. You can imagine his surprise when she told him she was crying because love doesn't exist. "This is amazing--a woman who believes that love doesn't exist!" Of course he wanted to know more about her.
He asked her why she felt that love doesn't exist and she told him about her marriage and how she and her husband had both lost respect for each other. She told him about how they hurt each other, and at a certain point she discovered that she didn't love him and that he didn't love her either. 'But the children need a father, and that was my excuse to stay and to do whatever I could to support him. Now the children are grown up and they have left. I no longer have any excuse to stay with him....There is no sense to look around for something that doesn't exist. That is why I am crying.'
Understand her very well, he embraced her and said, you are right; love doesn't exist. We look for love, we open our heart and we become vulnerable, just to find selfishness. That hurts us even if we don't think we will be hurt. It doesn't matter how many relationships we have; the same thing happens again and again. Why even search for love any longer?"
They were so much alike, and they became the best friends ever. It was a wonderful relationship. They respected each other, and they never put each other down. With every step they took together, they were happy. There was no envy or jealousy, there was no control, and there was no possessiveness. The relationship kept growing and growing. They loved to be together, because when they were together, they had a lot of fun. When they were not together, they missed each other.
One day when the man was out of town, he had the weirdest idea. He was thinking, 'Hmm, maybe what I feel for her is love. But this is so different from what I have ever felt before. It's not what the poets say it is, it's not what religion says it is, because I am not responsible for her. I don't take anything from her; I don't have the need for her to take care of me; I don't need to blame her for my difficulties or to take my dramas to her. We have the best time together; we enjoy each other. I respect the way she thinks, the way she feels. She doesn't embarrass me; she doesn't bother me at all. I don't feel jealous when she's with other people; I don't feel envy when she is successful. Perhaps love does exist, but it's not what everyone thinks love is.'
He could hardly wait to go back home and talk to her, to let her know about his weird idea. As soon as he started talking, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She felt the same way. They decided to become lovers and to live together, and it was amazing that things didn't change. They still respected each other, they were still supportive of each other, and the love grew more and more.
The man's heart was so full with all the love he felt that one night a great miracle happened. He was looking at the stars and he found the most beautiful one, and his love was so big that the star started coming down from the sky and soon that star was in his hands. Then a second miracle happened, and his soul merged with that star. He was intensely happy, and he could hardly wait to go to the woman and put that start in her hands to prove his love for her. As soon as he put the star in her hands, she felt a moment of doubt. This love was overwhelming, and in that moment, the star fell from her hands and broke in a million of little pieces.
Now there is an old man walking around the world swearing that love doesn't exist. And there is a beautiful old woman at home waiting for a man, shedding a tear for a paradise that once she had in her hands, but for one moment of doubt, she let it go. This is the story about the man who didn't believe in love.
Who made the mistake? Do you want to guess what went wrong? The mistake was on the man's part in thinking he could give the woman his happiness. The star was his happiness, and his mistake was to put his happiness in her hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. He was happy because of the love coming out of him; she was happy because of the love coming out of her. But as soon as he made her responsible for his happiness, she broke the star because she could not be responsible for his happiness.
No matter how much the woman loved him, she could never make him happy because she could never know what he had in his mind. She could never know what his expectations were, because she could not know his dreams.
If you take your happiness, and put it in someone's hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your own happiness. We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness, but when we go to the church to get married, the first thing we do is exchange rings. We put our star in each other's hands, expecting that she is going to make you happy, and you are going to make her happy. It doesn't matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.
That is the mistake most of us make right from the beginning. We base our happiness on our partner and it doesn't work that way. We make all those promises that we cannot keep, and we set ourselves up to fail."
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
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8:59 am - If a man wants something he ain't never had before...
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...he's gotta do something he ain't never done before.
But what do I want?
current mood:  restless
current music: "Bunga-bunga Cinta" - Misha Omar
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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5:53 am
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Once there was a village in the country. The people were happy. The village was nice. In general things were pretty good. Then one day a man in the village discovered a deep dark hole just outside of the village. He yelled into it and was surprised that his voice did not echo back. He called a few others who also wondered at the discovery. Soon it was decided that the hole should be inspected further and people gathered the tools to do so. The first test was to yell "hello" as lous as possible and listen for an echo carefully. This failed. The next test was to throw a stone into the hole and listen for it to hit the bottom. This was done, but no sound was ever heard. The next test was to drop something more substantial into the hole and listen for it to hit bottom. Again, nothing was heard. More tests followed until...
It was decided that the hole was the perfect place for the village's rubbish to be disposed of. Day after day, week after week and year after year, they continued to throw their litter into the hole. Until one day many many years later, the man who discovered the hole heard a voice call from above just outside his home, "Hellllo". He was startled but ignored it. The next day he heard another voice calling followed by a small stone hitting the ground near him. It was then that he realized what had happened and wished he'd never found the hole outside of the village.
Find me on myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/thephotographer
current music: "Cater 2 U (Scott Storch Remix)" - Destiny's Child
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
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12:38 pm - Love can make you do things you never dreamed possible...
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I got lost, couldn't find my way
and I guess there's nothing more to say
love can make you blind, make you act so strange
but I'm here and here I will stay
So everyday I cry
yes everyday I fall
do you ever wonder why, why I love everything about you?
But everyday I say I'll try to make my heart be still
'til then every way there is to cry, ourselves to sleep we will
It picked me up, knocked me off my feet
I've got no way to explain
still I love you, love you, love you but this fire inside
will never see the light of day
So everyday goes by
and everyday I fall
it makes me wonder why,
my life's worth nothing without you
But everyday I say I'll try
to make my heart be still
'cos every way there is to cry,
ourselves to sleep, we will
You'll never know, no, no, no,no,no
you'll never know just how close we were
you'll never know, no, no, no,no,no
you'll never know
no you'll never see
The book closes and we try to forget
but I know that things won't change
how we feel, how life goes on
and that seems so strange
And so the light fades away
try, try, try as I may
I can't stop thinking about you
it seems my life's worth nothing without you
But everyday I say I'll try
to make my heart be still
'til then every way there is to cry,
ourselves to sleep, we will
Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
everyday, everyday it gets a little harder
current mood:  lonely
current music: "Separate Lives" - Phil Collins
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, August 22nd, 2005
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6:40 am - These Foolish Things
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A cigarette that bears a lipstick's traces
An airline ticket to romantic places
And still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you
A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumblin' words that told you what my heart meant
A fairground's painted swings
These foolish things remind me of you
You came, you saw, you conquered me
When you did that to me
I knew somehow this had to be
The winds of March that make my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings but who's to answer?
Oh, how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things remind me of you
The scent of smouldering leaves, the wail of steamers
Two lovers on the street who walk like dreamers
Oh how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things
Remind me of you
How strange, how sweet, to find you still
These things are dear to me
They seem to bring you so near to me
The sight of midnight trains in empty stations
Silk stockings thrown aside dance invitations
Oh how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things
Remind me of you
current mood:  depressed
current music: "Everytime We Say Goodbye" - Rod Stewart
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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5:12 am
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the Cutting Edge
(60% dark, 43% spontaneous, 33% vulgar) | your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's
something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making
people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't in and
of themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery,
or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to
appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person
dancing.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi |  |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 67% on dark | | You scored higher than 49% on spontaneous | | You scored higher than 47% on vulgar |
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current mood:  tired
current music: "More Than Friends" - Yasmeen
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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1:54 am
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Yours only,
Romaji & English translation by: cori
Thanks to Ryu for the help. ^^
Yarikirenai hi ni mo anata wa soba ni ite
Yawarakai kuuki de tsutsunde kureta
Sonna yasashii anata ga
Totsuzen sugiru hodo subete wo nokosu you ni
Kono yo wo satta
Even on the unbearable days, you were by my side
You wrapped me up with a tender atmosphere
Your gentle self has passed away so suddenly that it's like everything remains
but you left this world.
Kokochiyokute hoka ni wa nai shiawase to
Wakariaeru utsukushisa wo oshiete kureta anata ni
You taught me comfortable, incomparable happiness &
the beauty of being able to understand each other
* I will dedicate this love to you
Anata wa kono kokoro no naka de eien ni ikitsuzukeru
Mugen ni tsuzuku toki no naka de itsumademo ai shite iru kara
I'll never say good-bye
I will dedicate this love to you
You will continue to live on in my heart eternally
I will be loving you forever within the time that continues endlessly
I'll never say good-bye
"Kazaranakutemo ii arinomama no kimi wo
Ai shita n dakara" to hanashiteta yo ne
Sono kotoba tayori ni donna tsurai koto mo
Jishin wo motte norikoerareru...
"It's ok if you don't dress up,
I love you just the way you are," you said
I have confidence that those words I depended on
can get me through even the trying things
Sarigenakute totemo shizen na katachi de
Shinjiaeru subarashisa wo oshiete kureta anata ni
With a casual & very spontaneous form
you taught me the wonderfulness of being able to believe in each other
** I will dedicate this life to you
Watashi wa anata no yume wo mune ni daite ikite yuku
Mugen ni tsuzuku toki no naka de itsuka meguriau sono hi made
I'll never say good-bye
I will dedicate this love to you
I will hold your dream in my heart and live on
until the day we meet someday, within the time that continues endlessly
I'll never say good-bye
Tatoe umarekawattemo
Nani mo kawaranai soshite kagirinaku anata wo ai suru
Even if you are reborn,
nothing will change & I will love you endlessly
* repeat
** repeat
current mood:  sick
current music: "Yours Only" - m-flo
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
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5:25 pm
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from Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash:
Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.
current mood: tired
current music: "If You Were Here" - BoA
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
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11:19 pm
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One evening, Mike went over to his friend, Terry's,
house to play cards with some friends. Mike sat
directly across from Terry's wife. Mike dropped a
card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had
her legs wide open and no panties on. He sat up and
was flushed.
He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. To
his surprise,Terry's wife had followed him into the
kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?"
Mike said "Yes, I did!"
Terry's wife said "Well, you can get more than
that but it will cost you $500."
So Mike thought about his financial situation and said
okay.
She said "Come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry
will
be at work."
Mike said "I'll see you then."
The next day Mike went over, they had sex, he paid
her, then he left.
Later Terry came home and asked "Has Mike been over
here today?"
Thinking she had been caught, she said "As a matter of
fact, he did." Terry said.
"Good, because that fool came by my job this morning
and asked to borrow $500 until this evening, and he
said he would leave it with you."
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She
had a boyfriend who grew up with her. His name was Jin. She always
thought of him as a friend until last year, when they went to a trip
for a club they were both in. She found that she fell in love with him.
Before that trip was over, she took a step and confessed her love for
him. And soon, they became a pair of lovers, but they loved each other
in different ways. She always concentrated on him only, but by his
side, there were so many other girls. To her, he was the only one, but
to him, maybe she was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” she asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” she felt disappointment
grabbing her...
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of her, like it was
nothing. To him, she was just a girl friend. The word ‘love’ only came
out from her mouth. Since she knew him, she had never heard him say ‘I
love you’ before. To them, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100
days… 200 days… Everyday, before they would say goodbye, he would just
hand her a doll, everyday, without fail. No one knew why…
Then one day…
Um, Jin, I …
What…don’t drag, just say..
I love you.
……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored her ‘three words’. By handing her the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls she received
from him everyday, filled her room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, her 15th year old birthday. When she got up in the
morning, she pictured a party with him, and stranded herself in her
room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon
the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was too tiring to look at
the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called
her and woke her from her sleep. He told her to come out of the house.
Still, she felt joy and she ran out happily.
Jin…
Here…take this…
Again, he handed her a little doll.
What’s this?
I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Today? Huh?
She felt so sad, she thought he would remember her birthday. He turned
around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then she shouted… “Wait…”
You have something to say?
Tell me, tell me you love me…
What?!
Tell me...
She put her pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left, “I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. Her legs felt numb… and she
collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could
he…. She felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for her…
After that day, she stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He
didn’t call her, although she was waiting. He just continued handing
her a little doll every morning outside her house. That’s how those
dolls piled up in her room… everyday
After a month, she got herself together and went to school. But what
made the pain resurface was that… she saw him on a street… with another
girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed her…as he
touched the doll… she ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in
her room, and tears fell… "Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…"In a fit of anger, she threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
He told her to come out to the bus stop outside her house. She tried to
calm herself down and walked to the bus stop. She kept reminding
herself that she was going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then
he came into her sight, holding a big doll.
Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
She couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
I don’t need it.
What….why…
She grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
She spitted out all the words that were inside her. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaky.
“I’m sorry”
He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored her and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” she shouted…
But he didn’t hear her, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!”
HONK~!!
“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from her.
That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to her.
After that day, she had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the
sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy
person… she took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left her since the day they started going
out. She remembered the days she spent with him and started to count
the days… when they were in love…
“One…two… three…”
That was how… she started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…”
It all ended with 485 dolls.
She then started to cry again, with a doll in her arms. She hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~”
She dropped the dolls,shocked.
“I….lo..ve…you??”
She picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~”
It can’t be! She pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you…
Why didn’t she realize that….That his heart was always by her side,
protecting mher Why didn’t she realize that he loved her this much… she
took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the
last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out, the on that she was missing so much…
“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been
loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say
I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you
forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
The tears came flowing out of her. Why? Why? She asked God, why did she
only know about all this now? He can’t be by her side, but he loved her
until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to her… it became courage… to live a beautiful life…. |
current mood:  numb
current music: "Too Good" - Chun Sang Ji Hee
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
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1:15 pm
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| Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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4:51 pm
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Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, twoo wuv, will fowow you foweva...
current mood: sick
current music: "You And I" - Eddie Rabbitt and Crystal Gale
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
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7:07 pm
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I cannot see her tonight.
I have to give her up.
So I will eat fugu.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: "Catch" - Ok Ju Hyun
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 14th, 2005
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7:46 am - A boy and a girl were sitting in a park alone one night.
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Boy: I guess we're the left overs in this world.
Girl: I guess so... all my friends have boyfriends, and we're the only two people left in this world without a special person in our lives.
Boy: Yeah, I don't know what to do.
Girl: I know! Lets play a game.
Boy: What game?
Girl: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days and you'll be my boyfriend.
Boy: That's a great plan. I don't have anything to do for the following few weeks.
[ Day 1 ] They watch their first movie and are both touched by the romantic film.
[ Day 5 ] They go to the beach and have a picnic. They have some quality time together.
[ Day 13 ] The boy invited the girl to a circus and they ride through a Horror House. The girl was scared and she thought she touched the boy's hand, but she actually touched someone else's hand. They both laughed.
[ Day 16 ] They saw a fortune teller down the road, and they asked about their future. The fortune teller said, " My darlings, please don't waste time. Spend the rest of your life together." Tears started to flow from the fortune teller's eyes.
[ Day 20 ] The girl invited the boy to go to the hill and they saw a meteor. The girl mumbled something.
[ Day 26 ] They sat on the bus, and because of the bumpy road, the girl gave her first kiss to the boy by accident.
[ Day 29 11:35 P.M ] The boy and girl sat in the park where they first decided to play this game.
Boy: I'm thirsty. Do you want anything to drink?
Girl: A green tea, that's all. Thank you.
Boy: Wait for me. I'll be right back.
[ 20 minutes later ] A stranger approached the girl.
Stranger: Are you a friend of the boy?
Girl: Yes, why?
Stranger: A reckless drunk driver ran over him. He's in critical conditon in the hospital right now.
[ 11:53 ] The doctor walked out of the emergency room and handed the girl a green tea and a letter.
Doctor: We found this in his pocket.
The girl opens the letter: During these few weeks, I realized that you are a really cute girl, and I am really falling for you. Your cherished smile, your everything. But before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you.
The girl crumpled up the paper and shouted, "I don't want you to die! I love you, too... Remember the night we saw the meteor and I mumbled something? I wished we would be together forever, and that we would never have to end this game. Please don't leave me... I love you!"
Then the clock struck 12...
And the boy's heart stopped beating. It was the 30th day.
IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, TELL THEM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. The best thing that could happen is they'll return the same feelings.
current mood:  stressed
current music: "Please Forget Me" - Gumi
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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3:10 pm - I Wish You Love
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Goodbye, no use leading with our chins, this is where our story ends,
Never lovers ever friends.
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day, but before you walk away,
I sincerely want to say.
I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to sing,
And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love.
And in July a lemonade to cool you in some leafy glade,
I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.
My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,
So with my best, my very best, I set you free.
I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
But, most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.
I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
Most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 21st, 2005
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4:47 am
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i'm constantly evasive about my emotions, and i just wish someone amazingly figured it all out and knew what i was feeling. and i wish that someone was her.
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i loved watching her, the hug at the start of the night was a good way to kick things off. as the night progressed, she seemed to get distant from me, i didn't like that and it made me depressed.
i'd never imagine she'd talk to me in the first place; let's face it, she had it all. maybe i messed up, maybe she got tired of me. i can't tell. she confuses me daily, she'll say hi when we pass in the hallway, but come later, not a word. i can't say for sure, but i do know that i still like her. hell, i always have. i'm not ready to give up an inch. why can't i be the one she wants, the one she will come to, the one she will stay with.
let's face it; i'm madly in love at this point. i'm not about to let anyone stand in my way. strong words from a person with strong thoughts but weak actions mean nothing, really. i need action. i've always needed action. i refuse to believe that the affection she displayed for me was not true, because i feel it was. she wasn't being nice, i believe she liked me. i'm not going to let that go. i'll never let it go, and this is why.
i'm not about to spend the next few years wondering 'what if'. i'm not ready for that. i want to see if she wants to be a friend, more than a friend, whatever. i just want to know. my mind hurts, i'm confused, and she's the center of it all. i can't help but feel this way after all that's happened. it can't get much more confusing at this point. the talks, the walks, her touches, the dances, her gaze, they can't have meant nothing. if i'm too late, i will go insane. i need to know if all those times we stared at each other were meaningless. there was a spark, if she'll admit that, i don't know. i need something at this point, i'm getting tired of walking along all these years looking at everyone with nothing but disgust. i can't stand it.
she'd make me better, and i'd make her better. for the love of god, all i want is one shot, once chance, hell, one date to show her this. why the hell can't it be me? it CAN, that's the problem, i need to realize that myself and take action. what action to take? i don't know, i need to know. looking at the facts, there HAS to be something there, but whether or not she feels for me is in question.
i get incredibly jealous whenever she talks to another guy, i can't stand it. it doesn't matter if it's the ugliest guy in the world, i still get a little mad. i can't help but feel this way, after all, she did show me attention, and a great deal. all the signs were there, and i was too damn lazy or stupid or scared to act on them. i honestly hope it's not too late. i hate wasting time, i don't want to waste another minute.
i'm getting close to driving over to her house and professing this on her doorstep, but fear of looking like a creep is holding be back tight. if i can just relive one of those moments in the past, one of those special moments when it was just me and her, and the way she talked to me, her voice was just barely above a whisper, her eyes had a twinkle, and her mouth had just the slightest grin.
i want to go back to those moments, when she held me in her lap, i want to go back to when it was certain, not now. now, it's anything but certain, and it's driving me insane. i can't go an hour without some thought about it. i pretend to be in control, but i'm not. i'm anything but in control. she's worth fighting for, that's for damn sure. i will fight, and i will prevail. i won't stop until she knows how i feel, and i know exactly how she feels. then, and only then, will i feel better.
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Like this rose, our love will wilt and die.
current music: "A Moment To Remember" - Min Seol
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| Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
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5:03 pm
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current mood: stressed
current music: "Joanna" - Kool & The Gang
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(comment on this)
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reymyster's journal
